


love that was not meant to stay

by yongheescereal



Series: GONHUN TRILOGY [2]
Category: CIX (Band)
Genre: Band Fic, Inspired by Music, M/M, Mentioned Day6 Ensemble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:55:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28454211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yongheescereal/pseuds/yongheescereal
Summary: Even though there are times that Byounggon questioned everything, even though the time they spent together feels like a dream, He knows the love that they once had is genuine.But it was a love that was not meant to stay.
Relationships: Kim Seunghun/Lee Byounggon | BX
Series: GONHUN TRILOGY [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2084157
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	love that was not meant to stay

As soon as Byounggon stepped on stage with his bandmates, the crowd went crazy. They were shouting their chants at the top of their lungs syncing with the sound of fireworks shattered in the sky. 

New Year's Eve and their band got a chance to perform infornt of of thousands of people who chose to celebrate the New Year outside their houses. The adrenaline took over his body, his veins feels like about to pop out because of the excitement. This feeling never gets old, no matter how big or small the crowd is, no matter where the stage is, as long as he have his members, as long as he's holding a microphone, as long as his guitar is hanging in his shoulder, the feeling will always be the same. 

But for some reason,  _ everything was deafening for him.  _

Not because of the crowd or the fireworks, not because of the excessive adrenaline rush he felt, it's mainly because of the guy standing right in front of him, blending with the crowd and staring directly to him. 

The reason why he's standing on a stage in front of thousands of people, the guy who once loved him just as much as he love music. 

**_Kim Seunghun_ **

Hyunsuk, their band's drummer starts to count using his drumsticks, a cue that the song is about to start that made Byounggon snapped back to reality.

Without withdrawing his gaze and not minding the loud cheer of the crowd, Byounggon started to strum his guitar. 

**Now Playing:** **_Day6 - I Smile_ **

_ It's been awhile _

_ I didn't know you'd be reaching out before I would _

_ You're saying let's meet up _

_ If time works out _

_ How could I say no to that? _

Byounggon can still vividly remember everything, from unexpectedly meeting Seunghun when both of their lives fucked up, how Byounggon decided to chase his dream with him, how they spend every single time they have in a small apartment that became their little utopia, and how Seunghun turned his back at him. 

He'd be lying if he said it doesn't hurt anymore, because it did. Up until now. 

_ Half excitement and half fear _

_ I still miss you _

_ And I don't want you to notice that. _

What Byounggon feels right now is a catastrophe. The adrenaline he first felt, the excitement flowing through his veins, the emotions he felt when he first laid his eyes on him, the fear he felt that made him shiver, and the lingering feelings he felt towards Seunghun. It's a chaos inside him, but still manage to find his composure back, afraid that the crowd and his members will noticed him.

_ Today, I smile _

_ Even though it hurts, I smile. _

_ When i'm with you _

_ As if nothing happened _

_ As if i'm doing fine _

_ I have to. _

He had to. Pulling off a smile and effortlessly showing his dimples, that Seunghun once loved. 

_ You're still the same _

_ Still got the beautiful smile. _

Even after not seeing him for years, everything about him feels the same for Byounggon. The smile that could replace the sun because of how bright his smile is, the rumaging butterflies inside his stomach every time Seunghun flashes his smile, it is still beautiful as ever.

_ Actually, if I could be honest _

_ I want to say to come back right now. _

God knows how much Byounggon prayed that one day Seunghun will show up in front of their door, willing to forget everything and begged him to comeback. But that day never came, he knows that day won't happen.

_ Once I let you go _

_ My smile will disappear. _

Byounggon has been holding onto him for so long. The memories they spent, the future they sought together and even the dream they promised to reach together, he knows he has to let go everything. 

_ Today, I smile _

_ Even though it hurts, I smile _

_ Till the last moment with you _

_ As if nothing happened _

_ As if i'm doing fine _

_ I have to _

And today, right after the clock strikes to twelve, right after the year ends, wearing the smile he force to flash, he's now ready to let go. 

_ I smile, I smile _

_ This could only be sometimes _

_ That I get to see you _

_ I have to, I smile. _

When Seunghun left, the last thing he saw from him was mess, that's why no matter how it hurts seeing him again, no matter how hard to held back his tears, Byounggon did his best to smile. He doesn't want to sent Seunghun away again looking so miserable.

Because despite of everything, Byounggon never hated him. In fact each day, even after he left, the love he gave still grows stronger and stronger. He's not sure how is that possible but who cares? Byounggon loves Seunghun so much.

  
  


Even though there are times that Byounggon questioned everything, even though the time they spent together feels like a dream, He knows the love that they once had is genuine.

_ But it was a love that was not meant to stay. _

**Maybe Seunghun did loved him, but not more than music.**

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Happy New Year FIX!


End file.
